when u watch an episode of catfish and no one even got catfished and u just wasted 45 mins watching 2 corn tooth straight people from wisconsin fall in love
me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors
gay sex in movies is either like FULLY unhinging their jaws to attack each other’s faces or soft light finger touch…..oh so slow…..if our palms touch i might turn intó a million crystalline móths…..look at my shoulder
hello kitty doesn’t like xanax or knives or blood or any of those awful things your post with her! she likes apple pie, baking cookies, and her friends and that’s that!
whenever i eat mushrooms i think about how one day mushrooms are gonna eat me… i make sure to chew really gently so they’ll return the favor 2 my corpse
Hey op
me, through a mouthful of gently-chewed mushrooms: yeah?
coherent people are the worst..like stop making sense for one fucking second. say some nonsense every once in a while. literally so boring if i can understand every word you say like shut up or say some dumb shit i swear to god
its really such an indescribable headspace going on long roadtrips in america (but not taking the scenic highways just using the interstates) like the road looks the same for hours. maybe you start driving into the mountains or you’re going out west and you go from plains to mountains to desert, but for the most part it just looks like trees and two stretches of asphalt for as far as you can see. you pull off at an exit to get something to eat or to get gas and it looks the same as every interstate exit you’ve ever been to. the stores might be different, maybe theres a burger king here where there was a mcdonalds at the last one. maybe its a different gas station chain. there’s a few strip malls but no two have the exact same stores. but it’s all the same. it all feels the same. there is no true sensory indication of where you are. you are both nowhere and anywhere.
